Too often in fundraising, we make assumptions about our donors: about what they want, how often they want to hear from us, and whether they are ready to give. Out of caution, politeness, or even fear, we hesitate to ask. But in doing so, we risk missing the most meaningful opportunities for support.
The truth is, a well-formed and well-timed invitation to give is often welcomed and acted on.
People give because they care. Because they have seen your work first-hand. Because they have used your service in a moment of need, or because someone they love has. That emotional connection is the often the foundation for giving. And when that connection is fresh, it can be the most powerful moment to invite support.
There are three main reasons people give: linkage, ability and interest. Making assumptions about any of these can be a missed opportunity. A time in my career that highlighted this beautifully was emptying buckets during a street collection. The first time I did this I went in with the assumption that I would not have to empty the buckets as often in the less affluent areas of the city. How wrong I was.
I realised that people in this area, whilst they may not have had the ability to give as much as those in the more wealthy suburbs, still gave. People would often stop and share their story. Their connection was so strong. So they gave what they could and felt empowered to play a part in something great.
As fundraising expert Kay Sprinkle Grace reminds us:
“In good times and bad, we know that people give because you meet needs, not because you have needs.”
It is a simple but crucial distinction, and one that shifts the focus away from organisational desperation and towards shared impact.
This is the essence of relational and philanthropic fundraising, a deliberate shift away from transactional models. Instead of asking, “What can we get from this person?”, we are asking, “How can we invite them into something meaningful?” It is about trust, connection, and shared values. It is about seeing donors not as ATM machines, but as partners in change.
The idea that “it is too soon to ask” is often more about our discomfort than the donor’s. If someone has just experienced the impact of your organisation, whether in a time of crisis or joy, they may be more inclined to give, not less. The key is in how you ask.
An appropriate, thoughtful ask, made within a timely way shows that you recognise the value of their experience and want to offer them the opportunity to give back, pay it forward or connect with your organisation in some way.
So let us stop assuming. Let us stop waiting for the “perfect time” that never comes. Instead, let us be bold, respectful, and timely, and trust that the people who believe in our work will want to be part of sustaining it.
– written by Emily Murdoch
